The Decision

This blog will be geared toward helping you become the strongest version of yourself.  Mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.  I write this in the beginning of November of 2020.  I can say globally, 2020 has been one of the most challenging years many people have ever faced.  For me personally, it has been the worst year and the best year.  This year has brought me to a mental space where I have thought about transformational moments in life.  Moments where upon reflection, you are one person before that moment, and a different version of yourself after that moment.  Some moments are extremely happy or joyous – a graduation, a wedding, the birth of a child.  Some moments are sorrowful or tragic – loss of a job, a serious illness, the passing of a loved one. 

Some moments are seemingly innocuous….they seem like ordinary, everyday moments that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things in your life.  Looking back though, these are moments that are transcendent.  They serve to shape who you are becoming….almost like the start of a journey.  There are times when you can see a transformational moment coming as it approaches you.  You have a big event planned, you have an interview, there is a special occasion that you are preparing for.    

My advice to you is to recognize these moments….they may be a thought, or a feeling or a conversation that could lead to something great…lean in to these moments. 

I am asking you brother – to look for those little moments that seem like throw away moments.  Look for them, and listen to what they are saying.  What can you change to become a better, stronger, more grounded, more thoughtful, more enlightened version of yourself?  Will you decide to hit snooze for a third time, or get up out of bed and exert yourself physically?  Will you binge watch a show on Netflix or will you dive into a book and expand your thinking on a topic?  Will you play video games, or will you look for an opportunity to do something…anything…to make someone else’s life a little easier?  Will you try something new?  Learn a skill, take a class, strike up a conversation with a person who you find interesting? 

When you look back on the big transformational events in your life, how many little moments led to those events? 

These little moments come and go all day long and most we don’t even realize they are happening…so I am asking you to look for these moments and make “the decision” to lean into them.  To challenge yourself – not to take the path of least resistance, but have the courage to choose a path of more resistance…because making the decision to choose that path can change your life.  It changed mine.  

The Road Not Taken

BY ROBERT FROST
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

While the Building Men blog is not going to be about me, I will share some of my life experiences as a father, a teacher, a principal, a consultant and a coach that have shaped who I am today. 

After you make the decision to lean into these moments, what’s next?

I think of it in terms of these 4 M’s:

Mindset, Motivation, Method, Mastery

Mindset – Make the decision – visualize where you want to be and the life you want to live, see yourself.  Use positive self-talk and get yourself in the right mental state. 

Motivation – set goals for yourself, small goals and ridiculously large goals.  Why do you want to achieve them?  What is stopping you?  Think about your goals and your daily decisions.  Do those decisions move you toward your goals or away from your goals?

Method – Come up with a plan, write it down.  Hold yourself accountable…Share it with someone, ask them to hold you accountable.  Stick to it and do the work.

Mastery – Don’t stop, don’t let anyone out work you.  Strive for mastery…check in your goal and recalibrate if necessary…but don’t stop. 

Believe in yourself.  Believe in your purpose….in the reason you are here and the reason you are reading this post right now.  Maybe this is one of those moments?

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